Are you the same at work and at home?

Travail à la maison : 5 conseils à appliquer pour être efficace

Have you ever wondered if you were the same person at home as “at work”? If I asked your family and friends your qualities and faults, would they say the same thing as your colleagues?

In fact, hopefully, in many cases we are not the same person but sometimes we make a confusion! With the work from home that developing, we have to be even more vigilant.

From an Ayurvedic point of view, this is explained by the fact that our “conditioning” is not the same in all the situations of our lives : as a manager, as a parent, as a child of our loved mum, as a spouse, as the best friend…

To simplify, the mind is divided into 4 main parts (according to Ayurveda) one of which is Manas : the conditioned (and emotional) mind. It is Manas who interprets the information received by the 5 senses on the basis of repetitive actions, making habits. The more we do an action, the more we receive the same external stimulus, the stronger the conditioning becomes. Since the stimuli are different depending on whether you are at work or at home, the conditioning is different and therefore the behaviour should be different.

But, the mind is not compartmentalized in this way and whoever says “conditioning” says automatism, reflex and not reasoning.

Imagine, a person who is a Manager and at home continues to lead, be firm and directive. Another person may be a psychologist and in the private sphere continues to analyse and have a posture of shrink (which the children, the spouse or the friends do not necessarily want ). These situations are, I think, quite commonplace.

It is impossible to escape the conditioning of our mind. Of course, it is interesting to acquire a certain conditioning to react more quickly, less demanding and be more effective. If you think of the act of putting on a suit or a special outfit to go to work participates in activating the conditioning that we want.

Except that, on the one hand, this part of the mind does not always bring the adequate response to the present situation and on the other hand, we are often not aware that Manas is starting up; which can lead to relationship problems, an inadequate posture to the situation.

The solution?

Appeal to another part of our mind: Buddhi = the intellect which will analyse and allow us to reflect on the questions arising. But, Buddhi has 2 aspects in each of us: the cold, sharp, implacable reasoning aspect, which can lead to being inhuman. The other aspect of Buddhi is more human, filled with compassion, balanced, allows us to show discernment and clairvoyance in order to be able to adapt our response to a situation.

It is in developing this second aspect of our intellect that we can observe our conditioning and not let it take over, even if at first we feel that this is the only way we can survive a stressful job or heavy responsibilities.

How to develop Buddhi?

An answer is found in the Caraka Samhita (foundation book of Ayurveda): “ The mind transcends all sense perception”. In other words, when the mind is disturbed, it is Manas who will take over in automatic mode and lead us to make choices, adopt behaviours that may or may not be adequate!

Everything we take in from our environment will influence, shape and condition our mind. Both negative and positive! And it’s like a loop that will fall into place if we don’t realize it.

There are obviously some (even many) things in our environment over which we have no control or which we think are essential to our daily functioning: lots of action and movement, restlessness, emotions such as jealousy, frustration, aggression or anger, drinking coffee to keep going, having a glass of wine to relax, finding a goal and a career. We are sometimes overtaken by fear, sadness, dishonesty or inertia in the face of a situation.

It is then necessary to counterbalance with calm, serenity, clarity of mind, intelligence, peace, love, creativity, balance and human warmth. But how? I’m sure you have an idea….

There are different possibilities, the goal is to develop HARMONY and PEACE in our mind by a correct use of our 5 senses, by activating our intellect (Buddhi) which will allow us to take a step back, to have more clarity of mind. For example:

– practice sophrology to calm our mind, develop our 5 senses to use them well, get in touch with thoughts and emotions, develop positive state of mind;

– surround ourself with calm, serene people who exude peace and love

– take time to observe our thoughts, our emotions by considering them as objects

– make choices about what we accept to receive from our environment

– be attentive to what we absorb and put in our body (food*, product on the skin and hair)

– develop our creativity

– stay as often as possible in contact with Nature

– do regular physical activity, sing, dance, breathe, move!

– pay attention to what we say

When you do all of this, according to ayurveda, you will progress to more clarity of mind and less letting the conditioned mind take over. You will then know how to better adapt your behavior according to the situation and provide the appropriate responses ( become Respons/Able) in each situation. When your are home as a parent, you are no more the manager, the psy, the teacher or the sport coach 😉

*I’ll make another article about how to choose the food to develop Buddhi

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